I've got something to say to you.
I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time.
It's about your weight.
This is going to be hard to hear, but you're overdue for the truth, so here it is: it is useless to worry about your weight. However, it is not useless to do something about it. People who blame their weight on metabolism or bad genes or whatever are lying to themselves. Figure out why you weigh so much and address it. Or don't bother with the self-analysis... just do something about it. Here are some things to do:
1. Stop making excuses. Admit you're the way you are because of you. Not because your mom never taught you how to eat properly, not because your dad told you you had a fat ass when you were a kid and you internalized it and made it a self-fulfilling prophesy, and not because you can't change. Because you can change. If you believe you're big, also believe you're bigger than the problem.
2. When you feel powerless to resist food and you are about to eat something that you know will make you miserable in 10 minutes, don't eat it. Walk away. This is very hard. Acknowledge that it is very hard and do it anyway. Even if you run back and eat the damned thing 5 minutes later, that's 5 minutes -- and at least you were running. Maybe next time you'll go 10 minutes. Maybe you won't eat it at all next time.
3. Realize that if you are able to stand up to read this that you are: a) alive, b) able to stand up and therefore c) able to walk away from whatever is tempting you and (oh my god) d) able to take a few more consecutive steps and exercise. Your mom was right about a few things... one of these things is that you're lucky you have legs and that you can walk. Not everyone does and can. Your grandparents were also right when they told you that your health is the most important thing. Stop squandering it and start cherishing it.
4. Realize that you are overweight. Realize that everyone knows you're overweight. They all think you are 'fat in those pants' and exactly noone is fooled by the fact that you leave your shirt untucked to cover yourself. It doesn't miraculously disguise the fact that you have a large ass. It makes you look sloppy and bigger than you need to. What's important to know is that noone cares as much as you do. There is noone in your office, at your church, in the supermarket or on the planet who will care as much as you do about how your outfit looks on you. Get over it and stop imagining that baggy clothes render you invisible, or that noone has better things to think about than your outfit. Well-fitting clothes are more attractive. If you have a waist, show it. If you are really curvy, bring it on. You don't look like a model. That's because you're not a model. Stop trying to look like a model. Also stop trying to look like a campground.
5. It's going to take time. That's ok. If you're lucky, you have time. All things equal, you have exactly as much time left as you have left. No more. No less. With respect to your weight, you have two options: A) Stay fat -- love it, hate it, pretend you're not it, imagine you're bigger than you actually are, or whatever. Live the rest of the time you have fat or getting fatter, or B) Lose weight for a while until you get to where you like what you look like again. It doesn't matter which you choose. The same amount of time will have passed. You will have the same amount of time left (assuming you're not destined to die of an obesity-related illness). You'll just have eaten a few more salads and gone for a few more runs than you would have otherwise. And you may end up a bit happier than you otherwise would have. Maybe not. There are no guarantees.
The thing about it is that it's your choice and your responsibility. Stop blaming others. Start taking care of yourself. You're not stupid. Stop acting like this is the biggest deal on the planet. Really want to think about food and weight all damned day? Try contributing to solving world hunger. I assure you, your mom was also right that there are people starving in the world. You're now old enough to get that and to do something about it. Your damned problems are less than trivial.
And if anyone wants to write to me to tell me that I'm being insensitive, you can save your energy for the stairmaster. For anyone reading this who thinks I'm talking to them. I'm not. I'm talking to myself.
I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time.
It's about your weight.
This is going to be hard to hear, but you're overdue for the truth, so here it is: it is useless to worry about your weight. However, it is not useless to do something about it. People who blame their weight on metabolism or bad genes or whatever are lying to themselves. Figure out why you weigh so much and address it. Or don't bother with the self-analysis... just do something about it. Here are some things to do:
1. Stop making excuses. Admit you're the way you are because of you. Not because your mom never taught you how to eat properly, not because your dad told you you had a fat ass when you were a kid and you internalized it and made it a self-fulfilling prophesy, and not because you can't change. Because you can change. If you believe you're big, also believe you're bigger than the problem.
2. When you feel powerless to resist food and you are about to eat something that you know will make you miserable in 10 minutes, don't eat it. Walk away. This is very hard. Acknowledge that it is very hard and do it anyway. Even if you run back and eat the damned thing 5 minutes later, that's 5 minutes -- and at least you were running. Maybe next time you'll go 10 minutes. Maybe you won't eat it at all next time.
3. Realize that if you are able to stand up to read this that you are: a) alive, b) able to stand up and therefore c) able to walk away from whatever is tempting you and (oh my god) d) able to take a few more consecutive steps and exercise. Your mom was right about a few things... one of these things is that you're lucky you have legs and that you can walk. Not everyone does and can. Your grandparents were also right when they told you that your health is the most important thing. Stop squandering it and start cherishing it.
4. Realize that you are overweight. Realize that everyone knows you're overweight. They all think you are 'fat in those pants' and exactly noone is fooled by the fact that you leave your shirt untucked to cover yourself. It doesn't miraculously disguise the fact that you have a large ass. It makes you look sloppy and bigger than you need to. What's important to know is that noone cares as much as you do. There is noone in your office, at your church, in the supermarket or on the planet who will care as much as you do about how your outfit looks on you. Get over it and stop imagining that baggy clothes render you invisible, or that noone has better things to think about than your outfit. Well-fitting clothes are more attractive. If you have a waist, show it. If you are really curvy, bring it on. You don't look like a model. That's because you're not a model. Stop trying to look like a model. Also stop trying to look like a campground.
5. It's going to take time. That's ok. If you're lucky, you have time. All things equal, you have exactly as much time left as you have left. No more. No less. With respect to your weight, you have two options: A) Stay fat -- love it, hate it, pretend you're not it, imagine you're bigger than you actually are, or whatever. Live the rest of the time you have fat or getting fatter, or B) Lose weight for a while until you get to where you like what you look like again. It doesn't matter which you choose. The same amount of time will have passed. You will have the same amount of time left (assuming you're not destined to die of an obesity-related illness). You'll just have eaten a few more salads and gone for a few more runs than you would have otherwise. And you may end up a bit happier than you otherwise would have. Maybe not. There are no guarantees.
The thing about it is that it's your choice and your responsibility. Stop blaming others. Start taking care of yourself. You're not stupid. Stop acting like this is the biggest deal on the planet. Really want to think about food and weight all damned day? Try contributing to solving world hunger. I assure you, your mom was also right that there are people starving in the world. You're now old enough to get that and to do something about it. Your damned problems are less than trivial.
And if anyone wants to write to me to tell me that I'm being insensitive, you can save your energy for the stairmaster. For anyone reading this who thinks I'm talking to them. I'm not. I'm talking to myself.
posted by Penless Artist at 9:02 p.m.
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